my side of the story.....
I knew this wasn't easy. I knew it'll drag and it did. I did it again. Playing the role of a bastard and ruin person's life. I juz never learn........for the 3rd time. At the age of 24 my life starts.....I start to see things differently and i really do know what i want now. Its hard to her and i'm sorry about it. Some things need 2 people to make it complete and I don't think we are . I juz hope that the friends that she confided in will help her along. I'm being a total jerk. I'm currently reading a christian book about why one should not take relationship for fun and why one shouldn't start a relationship unless he/she can commit and knew that he/she is their life partners. Although i'm not a christian, I juz think that what the author wrote is so true. I can relate to it so well and i agree to almost every part of it. Although in real life this is kinda hard to achieve. At 24 u hav to start thinking about future and stuff. I don't wan to ruin another person's life.
posted by yippi @ 11:27 PM
41 Comments:
i miss u...i've nber hate you or blame you for all this...juz tt i don't know what to do anymore so that you'll turn ur head and look at me once again.
i be waiting..do u know?
meeting u and watching u leave...is realli not easy...haiz.
it was realli not expected to be able to see u once again after our dance perf. perhaps when we dun haf expectations, the surprise becomes pleasant.i learn to be contented, learn not 2 expect,so waiting for u becomes easier..im leading a colorful n independent life now, learnt so much.n so happy tt ydae, we boarded a yacht together, an unforgettable experience.even thou the distance bwt us, im contented tt we share something together.
suddenly i realise...i'm juz a shadow in ur life. a lousy shadow that you can forget.
Everytime i feel like toking to u, bt i understd tt i can't contact u, i'll just come here. U r juz mi friend now, i had to come to terms with this...bt u r always here somewhere in my heart. Days before, heard that u were sick, i felt kinda sad, bt now i pray for ur well-being everyday. I realise, as long as u n ur family r well n happy, i'll feel contented n tt's enough. =)
Boodear, i saw u on the bus juz now..bt u din see me. Why God let me see u again n again? if we can't meet, perhaps this way of "meeting" is already veri gd to me le...thank u for replying mi smses nowadays..
today marks the half year since we broke up...so fast,6 mths passed like tt. u still remember me? how's ur life? happy with ur gf?i realli hope to hear from u one day..
I really don't dare to ask for anything, i juz wanna you to be fine. Why are you falling sick so easily nowadays...?please promise to take gd care of urself. you muz be well, you muz be happy. I can no longer be beside you, bt im still here praying for u. hoping to see u soon...will we?
i miss you a lot...
knowing that u r fine n happy, im happy. but i felt realli sad tt i can't change ur heart anymore. why things aren't getting better at all...
thank u boodear for turning up at my bdae party..thank u for the present.i love it n will cherish it. u came as a friend, bt i know i can't forget u.i still love u boo..i know i can't do anything..im gonna quit hall,quit dance,im gonna protect miself now. bt i will still wait for u..pls let me wait for u..pls turn ur head n see me here. u cannot love me anymore,bt i'll be here praying for u..anything im willin to do...
Birthday over..im not dancing anymore, im not staying in hall anymore...when will i get to see u again? i will keep u in mi mind...
Boodear,it's another mid-autumn.time flies,i still rem last 2 yrs we'd spent it together..carrying lanterns,celebrating mi bdae.things changed now.i've got a pet,a guinea pig n i called it "xiaoboo".i wanna remember u,i hope 1 day,i'll be able to wait for u to come back to mi side.
saw all the fotos...the places we had been before, the things we had done before...u now do it with her...i know you are happy..if u r happy, thn let me take all ur sadness..7 mths today,im still here boodear. i still love you.
boodear, september's over.how time flies right...i guess u will be more n more stressed as exams coming in abt 1.5 mths time, jiayou!let me take ur stress...take care of ur health.
thinking of u everyday...sometimes i wonder when will my waiting end, bt i never ever give up, i'm still waiting for you to give us another chance...i juz hope 2 tell u, mi love never change at all.
Sometimes,when i tried to stop finding things abt u, i still get news of u thru the guys, issit God tryin to tell me something? Heard that u planning to go WAT, i guess u muz be realli excited, it'll b a gd experience. bt why do i feel that u r leaving me further n further away...maybe u gog overseas will be a gd test for me, to show u tt mi love for u will nt change...
boodear..how do i stop miself from thinking of u? do u still ever think of me now? do u still remember me? how are you? are you very xing fu now with her? i realli wish that i can tok to u...can mah?
how r u?i tot i'll be able to see u on yihui's bdae,bt u din turn up.i wish 2 see u,bt i know i hafta be patient,maybe the time will come later.im so packed with my acaedemic life,guess u r too?exams comin,hope ur revision is gd.im prayin for u every night,hope tt u n ur family are well n happy..take care.=)
time flies..its been 8 mths since u left me. we arent in each other's life for so long le..things changed,i changed too.bt u wun know...if u can see mi change,i'll be contented le...missin u.
i see others breaking up n patching back, but why not us? i know it's not up to me anymore...my chance is given by u,bt u don't see me anymore..im already used to a life without u,bt mi heart has a place left by u. will my prayers be answered? if u can still see me, hope tt u see the changed me.
Why i cant seem to remove u from mi life...why everytime i told miself i musnt think of u,u will just appear somehow.im veri scared,do u know? that maybe i hafta even give up all the frens we had in common...been prayin to God,what does He wanna do with me?i cant move on,i can't turn back..i dunno wat 2 do...
Why are you still so cold to me? I let go of all my pride and find you, juz wanna sincerely wish u n chat abit, bt time n time again, u juz close the door on me...u dun even wan me as a friend mah? sighz.
Why do i still miss you and thinking of u everyday? if we are not meant to be, i wish that God will take you away from mi mind, but so long le, you are still on mi mind...why issit so.do u remember the photo album i made for u? are u still keepin it? if one day u can't keep it anymore, pls dun throw it away ok? return to me...i wanna keep it.
I was at Show's concert last night, it was great...if you only were with me at the concert, we had never watched a concert together b4,coz we dun haf the ability to earn money last time. but now when im earning my own money, i can't share my little joys in life with u anymore. n i think i saw someone wearing the CLOT n NIKE sneakers ydae too...it seems like you are "everywhere" ard me...when will you speak to me again?
boodear,i'm flyin to HK 2ml morning le.i really feel like tokin to u b4 i fly becoz i'm scared wat if smthing happened,i cant even speak to u a last time.but i know u haf nuttin to say to me,i aso dun wish to make things difficult for u. hope u r enjoyin ur holiday break...hope u r well.
i can't belief i saw u & her at the airport,i really dunno issit a joke played on me, or God's tryin to tell me something abt us...i will keep praying,boodear, it's okay tat i saw u with her, i'm still so glad to see u aft a few mths.as long as u r well...
i smsed u a few times aft seeing u, bt why arent u replying me?i hope it's u din receive my msges,n not u dunwan 2 reply.why are u avoiding me?i tot u said we can be frens, aft exams can tok to me?wat happen...did i do smthing wrong again?God, pls let yippi reply me...please.
u said we shld nt contact each other,we cannot be frens anymore...becoz u feel u r giving me hope.im so upset, cryin for u again..mi hope doesnt come frm u,bt i think u wun understd.i accept wat u think it's best,i dun wish to fight for it anymore...as long as u r happier,i will accept.i will accept.
Juz wanna wish u a happy 2008...may ur yr ahead be blessed and be happy.ur final sem as a student, treasure it & wish tat u will haf no prob searching for a job n excel in it.u can do it too, juz like how u believe in me mths ago whn i told u my stress as a teacher.jiayou!
i sprained my foot n had drug allergy in taipei,feelin really scared n lost tat night.how i wish u were with me,hw i wish i dun need to act strong n independent.rem last time whn my eyes turn swollen aft drug allergy?u were with me,tat's why i dun need to be scared...aft this experience,i realised tat actually i dun need to act strong,i still hope 2 haf some1 with me..i miss u..bt i cant find u
how are you lately?
i still miss you at times...still praying...
hopin one day you are willing to tok to me again, even just as frens...
yesterday...28th feb..one yr had passed without you..im no longer heartbroken, bt a tint of sadness still lingers...a kind of "sighz"..hope u r doing well.hope u r happy. hope one day we can still smile at each other whn we meet on the streets. hope tat we can be frens.
i don't know why i can't forget u totally..i don't know why even though i hope for a bf, i juz can't accept a new guy. why aft so long...i still miss the old days...i still miss u...
hui_7... is time to pick urself up and move on... gambatte...
thanks for the comment..=)
i'm fine...i can see miself growing up.another mth over,going to be April le...may u strive hard for ur last exams.
praying~
All the best for exams n job hunting...jiayou~
do u think we will meet again? will we ever meet again....
I dunno y whenever i go sentosa,memories of us gog to the resort there together, gog underwater world,dolphin lagoon became very clear...I felt sad, even thou frens were ard me..i felt sad, to head home alone...i still miss ya.
不再见面 不代表我不再对你想念 你是曾经的永远...
I'm still waitin 4 the day tat we might be able to tok again. Lookin at yh,i admired his courage n determination..nber gives up, still giving time a chance.if we had another chance..if God really gives us another chance...
You're flying off to HK 2ml..will pray for a safe n gd trip for u. Still rem tat we wanna go HK disneyland together for my grad trip?bt we nber get to do so coz we were poor students tat time..I've been there miself,nw u r goin with a new gal..bt at least we've been to the same place..juz different time...
pls be well..dun fall sick.even if u dunwan to be frens with me, i still wish u be healthy n well.take care.
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